NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE TRIVIA
EVERY AFTERNOON AT 3:30
The manufacturers of these claim they work properly more than 99.9% of the time. What?
Name is fitting. Goliath is a 6yr old male and weighs in the 110 pound range and is a mastiff/black lab mix.
This guy is so sweet and giving, but he needs a home that has big dog experience.
His adoption fee is $130 and includes a voucher for a veterinarian exam, vaccinations, a 1-year license, 45 days of health insurance and a microchip.
Want to know more about Goliath? Visit hsppr.org.
WILLIE..."my spleen fell out"
A new survey asked bosses to name the DUMBEST excuse they'd ever heard from an employee trying to get out of work.
Here's the top 10:
#10.) "I dyed my hair the wrong color."
#9.) "My dog is scared and I don't want to leave him."
#8.) "I drank too much and fell asleep on someone's floor, but I don't know where I am."
#7.) "I'm taking a bath and my toe is caught in the faucet."
#6.) "My pants split on the way to work."
#5.) "The dog ate my shoes."
#4.) "I hurt myself during sex."
#3.) "I'm stuck in the house because the door is broken."
#2.) "My girlfriend bit me in a 'sensitive' place."
#1.) "My mom just died" . . . from an employee who'd used that excuse once before.
A New YouTube Workout Video Includes a Guy in the Background . . . Sitting on the Toilet
But at two points in the video, you can distinctly see a bathroom with its door open in the background . . . and there's a guy sitting on the toilet.
You can see him at :20 and :33.
Miranda confirms and denies recent tabloid rumors
According to lottery officials, the odds of winning the massive prize are about 1 in 176 million. Despite the excitement, those odds are not good. In fact, there are many other things—good and bad—that are much more likely to happen to a person than winning that money. From landing dream jobs to unfortunate demises this arcticle lists much more likely occurrences.
Death by Vending Machine
Odds: 1 in 112 million
On average, two people in the U.S. are crushed to death underneath vending machines each year. Please snack responsibly.
Dying in an Airline-Related Terrorist Attack
Odds: 1 in 25 million
No one has died in an airplane-related terrorist attack since 9/11. The pat-downs of elderly people and toddlers are really paying off.
Having Identical Quadruplets
Odds: 1 in 15 million
Identical quadruplets would be adorable, but you wouldn’t be able to support them because you probably won’t win the lottery…
Odds: 1 in 10 million
Mitt Romney has seen these odds.
Dying From Bee, Hornet, or Wasp Stings
Odds: 1 in 6.1 million
Who knew bees were so scary? Then again, bees may not be as much of an issue this year.
Dying From Being Left-Handed
Odds: 1 in 4.4 million
It’s a right-handed world. Apparently, a fair number of left-handed people die each year from using right-handed products incorrectly.
Becoming a Movie Star
Odds: 1 in 1,505,000
There’s more than one way to make money in this world, and movie stardom is a better bet than playing the lottery.
Dying in a Plane Crash
Odds: 1 in 1 million
If you are too scared to board a plane, why did you just buy a lottery ticket?
Death by Flesh-Eating Bacteria
Odds: 1 in 1 million
Not as rare as one would hope, but there are worse ways to die. Maybe.
Getting Struck by Lightning
Odds: 1 in 1 million.
A lightning strike is probably still preferable to flesh-eating bacteria.
Dying in a Bathtub
Odds: 1 in 840,000
These odds are not an excuse to stop bathing.
Dying in an On-the-Job Accident
Odds: 1 in 48,000
If this applies to you, you may want to take a risk and buy that lottery ticket.
Odds: 1 in 18,000
Hopefully it won’t be over a lottery ticket, but if it is, at least your murderer probably won’t win either!
Dying in an Asteroid Apocalypse
Odds: 1 in 12,500
The good news is that this will probably never happen, That is, until the year 2040, when it’s totally going to happen!
Dying in a Car Accident
Odds: 1 in 6,700
Good luck driving to the store to buy that lottery ticket.
Check Out a 7-Month-Old Baby Learning to Waterski
(PULLED BY A HUMAN NOT A BOAT) haaaaaa!
B IS THE $600
C IS THE $28
For the first time since the recession started, beer sales in the U.S. are up. Those responsible for the increase will no doubt agree with today's list of the Top Great Things About Drinking Beer.
If you put two cans of it on either side of a plastic helmet with a straw, people will think you're sophisticated.
It's a great beverage to bond with your son over. But wait until the summer. Because third grade requires focus.
Drinking it in high school means you're cool. Drinking it in middle age means you're normal. Drinking it when you're old means you're a hobo.
Without it, who would run 87,000 ads during a three-hour football game?
If you wrap the can in a brown paper bag, nobody will ever suspect you're drinking it.
You can buy it in a 6-pack when you're with a friend, a 12-pack when you're with a group, and a 24-pack when you're alone.
It's packed with so many calories that it's like enjoying cake in a bottle!
If you shake one up and open it, the redneck on the barstool next to you will laugh and laugh. Go ahead, try it!
If you're ever stranded in the woods, drinking all that Keystone Light will have prepared your taste buds for surviving on deer pee.
It's one of two things you can have in common with The Most Interesting Man in the World. The other is sad eyes.
Certain brands offer a taste of Mexico without the threat of getting beheaded.
It helps to numb the pain of your miserable existence.
It's been scientifically proven that the more beer you consume, the more chicks find you handsome and hilarious.
Telling your wife there's "more of you to love" when you get a massive beer belly isn't the LEAST bit depressing or delusional.
Pounding a 12-pack is an extremely effective way to ease the pain of crippling alcoholism.
After you get a liver transplant, you get to spend a week lying in the hospital, eating ice cream and watching "The Price is Right".
It's fun to switch out a wine cooler for a Bud once in a while and try to convince your friends you're straight.
Everyone's awesome. Until they're not anymore and you have to fight them.
Nobody bothers you with difficult questions like they do those sissy wine drinkers.
You can't make a cool pyramid out of wine bottles.
Thanks to blackouts, you're not reliving old memories, you're doing something BRAND NEW!
Drinking a craft-brewed, West Coast style, small batch, cask conditioned IPA is a convenient way to let everybody know you're an elitist hipster!
Playing bourbon-pong would just be silly.
According to commercials, if you and your guy friends are drinking beer, eventually a bunch of hot girls in bikinis show up.
People give up their seats on the bus because they assume you're pregnant.
If an AC/DC song comes on, you have the confidence to sing along at the top of your lungs, even though you only know five of the words.
It's the only thing that helps you tolerate your wife, Reese Witherspoon.
It's fun watching the little mountains on the can turn blue.
If you drink enough of it, you can rest your beer on your beer belly. It's like nature thought of everything!
Drinking PBR goes perfectly with growing an ironic mustache and bragging about bands you liked before everyone knew about them.
It makes a baseball game actually seem interesting.
Beautiful women will suddenly be willing to sleep with you. That is, unless TV commercials are lying.
It's the cause . . . and solution . . . to your marriage problems.
If your day was bad, beer can make it better. And if your day was good . . . beer can make it even better.
Meteorologist David Paul battles hiccups on air